Quitting Church

As part of my Extended Professional Development Leave (EPDL) I wanted to do some reading on trends in the church. One of those is the trend that people seem to be leaving mainline churches. Young Adults seem to be doing it a lot, but others are too. I picked up a book, aptly entitled, "Quitting Church" by Julia Duin. I'll summarize its contents first, and then make some observations and learning's about what I read. Take the time to read on, you will be surprised at what is drawing people out of church, and maybe even more surprised about what I think about it.

Julia Duin notes all sorts of reasons that people are leaving the church. She begins with general stuff like, "plenty of people in this country [USA] are interested in spiritual matters. They are simply not going to church to feed this interest" (13). Some have experienced charismatic renewal in a church that was very good at doing it, but the experience of "fabulous worship, great preaching, spiritual gifts, and sacrificial giving so that new comers were converted almost as soon as they walked in the door" ruined them for life (16). If they had to leave, there were no other churches that came close, so they stopped going.

There is another problem of Pastors being out of touch with the reality of the day and with "new fads and programs com[ing] and go[ing], but [the] mediocrity and lack of God just seem to go on forever" (19). It seems that "many people …were also disappointed or perplexed in some way with God" (22). Another reason people seem to be leaving is that "what's preached and taught is irrelevant to the questions on the ground" (28 -29). There is the matter that people today are much better educated and they don't have time to waste on churches that seem to operate in the 19^th century. These people think "in business terms – long term planning, strategies, vision, bottom-line performance and progress – concepts that don't exist in church systems run by volunteers and headed by and overworked pastor" (31).

Further, she makes the statement that "the people who are not in church [today] are often traditional Bible-believing Christians" (39). They "know there's more to Christianity than just believing.. . . [and want] . . . a way of living rather than just a way of believing" (43).

Duin then goes on to list several issues that are keeping people away from church. Here's a summary, as best as can be done, chapter by chapter….I've tried to keep it short, to key quotes only.

A. The Search for community. People are looking for it today. "Community undergirds people emotionally, and the emotions are where today's spiritual battles are being fought" (49). Many churches have become "depersonalized using ….staged 'passing of the peace' (I've experienced that). . . [or] . . . not contacting the formally churched after they left" (52). Here's a good quote, "For centuries, our churches have been sermon and audience focused, where people can go to church and leave with no opportunity for meaningful human contact" (52).

As a reaction to this, many people have moved to something we now call "House Churches." If you don't come, people notice and find out where you've been. The appeal is that house churches don't "demand a tenth of one's salary and take up a chunk of one's Sunday," and when it comes to church, if the worship isn't great, then people conclude there's no real reason to go (61).

The problem is that house churches can also grow, and some even become organized, or join a denomination, and this seems to drive the purists away once again.

B. In adjusting to the 21^st century the church has its work cut out for it. Some people want to go back to the ancient forms of worship, while others want cutting edge ministry (like the church I attended on May 17^th – see blog entry). Morality is a moving target today where "divorce, crime, single-parent households, and suicide are much more prevalent than thirty years ago" (72). An interesting point in this chapter is that the church seems to have sidelined young adults when it comes to leadership. The truth is that "they actually want to grow and learn …[through] . . . hands-on meaningful opportunities" (74 – 75).

C. The issue of singles: I liked this chapter. I have known about the implications of the feelings of singles as I've done ministry, but chapter was a good reminder for me to be sensitive to their needs, and it also shocked me a bit too. Duin suggests that the church should "expend some energy matching them up" (88). The church should also not think of singles as just a great volunteer reservoir. "We are not the church's easy free labor pool to do the undesirable jobs no one else wants to do in the name of 'servant hood,' 'contentment,' and 'humility.' We are anointed individuals like our married counterparts with unique spiritual gifting and callings that others need in their lives" (94). Too often singles have been demeaned through the glorification of marriage and been told to be content with their singleness. Some, maybe many, are not content being single, and the church should be a place where matchmaking is encouraged. Very interesting.

D. Teaching, or maybe not: This chapter might be a hard one for preaching Pastor's to read, but since I'm not one of them, I read it. : ) Duin makes some good points in this chapter. She quotes a survey done that found "that while only 44 percent of congregations polled rated the preaching they got as excellent, 81 percent of the pastors did so" (102). Another point to ponder is that "the masses are better educated and no longer so naïve to think this one person [Pastor] has all the knowledge and wants to feed it into us. We want to interact with the information" (106).

There was the idea that unanswered prayer was not taught about in the church today, and authentic relationships are lacking.

E. Is the Pastor the Problem: Duin is getting at the issue of Pastors having to be either inhuman or superhuman, when in reality all they need to be is human. It's not easy Pastoring today, with all the demands that even this book has brought to the surface. I think the core of the chapter comes in this quote: "churches must be led, not managed . . . just having vision is not enough . . . [and Pastors need to ] . . . have the will or spiritual fortitude to implement [the consequences of their actions]" (128). As Duin so aptly states, time alone spent with God is the key for Pastors to lead, and produce better sermons.

F. Women in General are leaving: The age old issues of gender inequality comes out in this chapter. Duin suggests that "men are afraid they will lose their male authority" (140). She also suggests that men view women in the church as objects of temptation. "Women are considered dangerous, so they are shunned" (147).

G. The Issue of Spirituality: This chapter focuses on the charismatic movement and how many churches aren't comfortable with it. There are pockets of it around, but the church doesn't really know what to do about unanswered prayer, healing, and supernatural giftings.

H.The final chapter tying it all together. Duin summarizes her findings of the previous pages:

"It's mature Christians who have opted out of church" (170). "A lot of young Christians …may go [to church] occasionally, but they don't get much out of it. . . [and] . . . they are getting their spiritual experiences off the Internet [or in house churches]. (171- 172).

People who have been to church for some time have become bored, or have felt controlled to death. "To keep such people you have to release into ministry …equipping, networking, resourcing, launching, supporting and cheering when its best 'fish' go out and change the world" (174).

Here's an interesting quote: "When asked the formerly churched what would get them back, they said the number one thing was an invite from a friend or family members . . . the friendliness and welcoming aspect is crucial" (175).

Some say that their "faith is undergoing a huge transformation and [they] have questions that were never addressed" (176).

Conclusion:

So, that's all the information on/in the book. Are you still with me? Now I'd like to interact with it for just a moment, and maybe you want to as well.

I think Duin brings up many good points. She's pretty thick on what's wrong with the church, but her final chapter is pretty thin on suggested solutions. Sadly, the ones that are given just don't seem to have any teeth to them. After pondering the book for some time now, I've come to see that there's probably a reason why Duin spends nine chapters offering reasons why people are leaving the church, and only one short chapter on how to fix the problem.

The reason she's thin on solutions is because there is no easy solution to this problem. I agree with Duin that church can seem irrelevant in its teaching, singles have more than likely been neglected, women have often been marginalized, and the Spirit's power has been quenched. I know that those who are disillusioned have tried other avenues of church like House churches and postmodern or emergent churches. It seems that in all of her writing no one seems to have found the smoking gun that will solve all their Utopian ideals of what church should be. That's a huge statement to the effort it takes to make church work, no matter what it's size might be.

To all of this I gently suggest three other lines of thought that some might not agree with, but I think warrant closer scrutiny.

First, throughout Duins book one theme that seems to ring out loud and clear is the whole notion that I have to get something out of this whole church experience. That worship is solely my experience and it better be value packed each time I go. If it isn't, or if I don't like something, I'll just leave and journey on until I find the church that suits my needs.

Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be fed by your church community, but what ever happened to that wonderful word we call "sacrifice"? We are living in a "me" generation, and that has bred a self centred society. People used to go to church out of duty or guilt, and that is not healthy, but it seems today that we've swung the pendulum to the other side and commitment only lasts as long as I stay satisfied.

If that were true in Jesus' day the disciples would have left Jesus. What did Jesus teach? He taught us how to serve one another, not be selfish about me - and no other.

Second, what is this whole church searching all about anyway? It's a desire to enhance, improve, deepen our relationship between God and myself, or yourself. That's what it boils down to really. Now some churches may struggle with how to do that well, but I can't see that so many do, and even if they do, why aren't these "quitters" trying to change things rather than move on. I think of Martin Luther, John Calvin, and others who so desperately wanted to change "their" church because their relationship with God was deep, renewing, alive. Eventually the church ended up kicking them out, but they never wanted to leave it. The crux of the matter is that it's our relationship with God that causes us to behave the way we do - in all that we do - , and that includes church life. Duin didn't talk much about that.

Finally, and interestingly enough a theme that I've been talking about in other blog entries, Duin names the best solution of all through her own life experience. "Visitors as a custom were invited to people's homes on Sundays after the service. As a college student . . . I was invited to an elder's home one Sunday after visiting his church . . . [and] . . . the encounter changed my life, and I became best friends with that elder and his wife, plus joined their church" (179 – 180). Relationships, Relationships, Relationships. Do I sound like a broken record? Good! : )

The church is far from perfect; our church is far from perfect, but we strive to get the message out that people are at the centre of what we are about. We are a busy church, but not for the sake of just being busy, at least I hope not. The reason for all we do centres on growth in God and with each other. We grapple with, yet value, the supernatural gifting in the context of our denominational history and are doing pretty good at ministering to all ages of the church. We are active in missions both local and abroad.

Can we do better in the area of singles,women in ministry, and single parents? I think we could say yes to that, but we have not ignored these issues either. Calvin is a church that I'm honored to be able to serve as a co-pastor, but it still has areas it needs to work on. We've lost good people because they've not felt a strong connection point. We need to continually work on that.

Again, we are not a perfect church, but if, as Duin states, Christians " decided to share things in common, be willing to suffer together [not bolt when suffering occurs], and be part of a supernatural church . . . if enough believers are willing to pay the price . . . then people will begin craving church instead of quitting church. . ." (180). If everyone decided that, due to the imperfections of the church (our church), they were going to leave [and it seems many have], who would be left to challenge and subsequently change the church? I think the "quitters" have done the church its own greatest disservice, as well as themselves. I'd rather be part of the solution [and the crazy ride that it often takes to find them], not just a complainer about the problems of the church. How about you?

May 17 Church Visit

As I continue my Extended Professional Development Leave (EPDL) I once again visited another church. Christopher came with me this time, as I wanted to see how he would react to this church. I won't mention its exact name, but I think you'll be able to guess it after I describe it.

This church met in a movie theatre in Gloucester. They truck in all the church stuff (band equipment, computer, sound board, and child care & church school stuff). Chris and I entered the building and were right away greeted by two friendly faces that invited us, and directed us, to the theatre containing the church. As we walked to it, we passed by a welcome/info table, stopped, and talked with the lady there. Friendly, but I had to initiate the conversation (which I found interesting). We discovered that this church has only been around since September, 2008, but has been steadily growing. The lady had actually only been part of this church for 3 months and was already serving as someone who welcomes others….make a mental note about this . We also discovered that she had left a much larger church in the Ottawa area because it felt too big and impersonal.

Before walking into the theatre, we took some information about the church. There weren't a lot of people in the theatre, and it was already 9:50 a.m. Church was scheduled to start in 10 minutes. At 5 minutes there was a countdown clock that appeared on the screen.

Church began at 10 a.m., and we stood and sang 4 songs. Two we knew, but two were new to us. As we sang (about 12 minutes or so) another 100 people walked in to fill up the theatre. I was expecting mostly young adults at this church, but there was a cross section of ages, though it was weighted with 18 – 35 year olds.

At an appointed time, the main pastor appeared on the screen to deliver the teaching time. There is one home church, and several satellite churches like this one in Ottawa, that all receive the same teaching. Part of the teaching time included a Q & A. That was different, and refreshing.

During the beginning of the teaching time the offering was taken. After the teaching time, this church took the time to thank one of the theater managers for all the help that they had received from him. He was being transferred, so they gave him a gift card for Starbucks Coffee. That was very nice to see.

We left the theatre and slowly made our way out. Many people were talking with each other. We made it back to the welcome table where I scooped up some more information on the church for later review. No one engaged us, but I don't think this church needs to apologize for that because they are up front about you connecting with them not necessarily them with you.

In the car I asked Chris what he thought of the experience, and he was painfully honest. It was the best service he'd been to in a long time. I asked him why. The music for starters, the fact that it was in a movie theatre helped, and the sermon was something he got something out of and for the most part could follow. I found his comments pretty accurate, truthful, and thought provoking.

I've now had the chance to do some reading of the information that I took from the church. I must say that I really liked what I read. There were 5 different parts.

• A financial report for the past and upcoming year
• A Philosophy of ministry
• A community Living Manual
• A Spring Report for 2009
• A bulletin for that week

What I gleaned from all the information was that this church is very good at communicating. Once I finished all the material, I knew:

• What this church stood for.
• What would be expected of me if I wanted to get involved.
• How their spring programming was going.
• The methodology behind all that they were doing and that this church was not perfect, but real.

I discovered that there were both differences and similarities when it came to Calvin CRC. Some of the Differences:

• One church with many different satellite sites. All teaching comes from one person.
• A clearly articulated mission and vision statement that is being consistently acted out.
• The ability to be innovative quickly due to the newness of this church and starting from scratch, and to celebrate that innovative nature.
• An intentional and systematic methodology of doing ministry (i.e. House churches) with no apologies for it.
• A strong teaching Pastor who carries the vision of this church (both a plus and maybe not so much a plus).
• A strong web site that is updated weekly; it is the front line of meeting for many who eventually come to this church.
• Unashamedly calling people to give to this ministry and naming specific amounts.
• A question and answer during the sermon time, using texting as a way for satellite sites to be able to connect. I found that very interesting.
• Some theological differences, but that's going to happen.

Similarities:

• Budget issues, like most churches.
• Similar program ministries (church school, nursery, youth group) though they give them more modern names.
• The struggle with members (called core community) and those who are guests.
• Mission work is supported, though done a bit differently.
• They struggle for volunteers, just like we do, though their relative newness does help them in getting volunteers. I wonder what that will be like 10 years from now?
• A web site in which the sermons are downloaded. In their case it's video, in our case it's written. Effective on both counts.

All in all, I found this church experience to be a good one. I think it attracts those who have become disillusioned with mainline churches because it unashamedly states it is not like them. Today that seems to be something that catches the eye. They use the Sunday service, and their very talented teaching Pastor, as a way to grab people, and then the hope is to connect them to a "Home Church" and from there they begin to experience the community that they have been longing for.

There are many things that I truly like about this church and the way it has been growing. I think I/we as a church could learn a few things from it. Here are some:

• We need to recognize that innovation for us in the CRC comes as a more difficult thing because we have a much longer history to contend with. Innovation is easier in the church I visited because it has many young adults who are able to put their energies into church in ways that those who are married and have younger children are not able to. When the call comes to be part of something bigger, they jump at the chance and produce (I am generalizing here because I know that young adults are also busy in school, starting their careers, etc). Not every church can say they have that sort of volunteer pool.

• We can't compete with such a talented teaching Pastor, but maybe we can learn from the content that he is giving and what those disillusioned with the church are hungering to hear. Having such a talented teaching Pastor seems to be the big draw for this church, but what if that teaching Pastor leaves? I just finished a book (which I'll be blogging on soon) that talked about many a church that had seen its rise and fall based on the charisma of a great teaching Pastor, or healing Pastor. Focusing on one isn't always such a good thing.

• Large isn't always something to be celebrated. We have begun working at our "Growing Together Groups" (similar to Home churches) and this is a good thing. I think that the church I visited has a more consistent leadership in place for these groups in that they have elders assigned to lead them. The bulk of their growth happened in the Home Churches. Maybe we need to take a closer look at the intended goals and desired outcomes of our GTG's, but we are on the right road.

• The style of worship wasn't an issue in this church; in fact, there wasn't much to it. They simply had four songs, an offering, and a teaching time. The focal point has always been the teaching time. I think what we do at Calvin, using the arts, and other tactile modes in our worship are all good things that allow variety to be expressed in our congregation's faith experience.

• Kids were not necessarily included in what goes on, and I think our Pastor's short interaction with the kids during our service is very good. It says we value them, and they begin to build positive memories about church at a very early age.

• Missions for this church was done slightly differently than ours, but not much. They raised money for a couple of different organizations that they have deemed important for them based on their philosophy of ministry. We do the same thing through our denominational ministries, and some that are closer to home. The difference is that they get involved in the fundraising as a group and don't just give money to the cause. This allows for community to continue to be built in ways that go beyond simple Sunday morning interactions. Another difference is that these causes are constantly in front of the members so they know how much was raised, how much is still needed, etc. There are also targeted causes, with invitations to be part of them, rather than start up new ones. At Calvin we are beginning to talk about how many different things we do support and should we be more targeted, or simply let people support what they want to support. There are pro's and con's to both, but we need to decide what road we want to travel. We HAVE begun to raise the awareness of the ministry's we support via our ministry shares, and that is a good start. We could learn something from this church when it comes to missional support.

• This church continues to dream big, and beyond its means. That means they must rely on God for their sustaining ministry. I think, if we are truly honest with ourselves, we could also learn a great deal from that too. This church has spelled out its giving guideline as 10 % of your gross salary, and then you give above that for other causes of the church that are ambitious. In Calvin, we have always struggled with meeting our ministry share goals and are very leery of talking with each other about any sort of personal giving. I think we could, and really should, learn something from this church. Giving is a spiritual discipline, and as such, should be part of our spiritual conversations. Yes, there are situations that have arisen in people's lives that prevent them from giving much. I'm not talking about those situations. I am convinced that Calvin could meet its current budgetary commitments, and more, but we need to begin talking about giving as boldly as this church has, even with the added obligation of having families pay for Christian Education. This church is up front that their giving is an investment in "people." We have talked in those terms, but need to do that much more intentionally.

• Finally, this church hits on a very good point. It differentiates between religion and"organized irreligion." Religion they define as "any system of rules, regulations, rituals, and routines that people use to get right with God." Organized irreligion is not about a collection of religious activities or simply being a member of an organization, it's about following a radical prophet and teacher, Jesus, and making a commitment to community that is similar to that of those in the early church as we read the book of Acts.

Calvin can be similar to this church in this sort of thinking and methodology. In certain ways we already are. In other ways we need to re-think what we are doing. I think we need to take some time to figure out just who we are as a church (our DNA as I've noted in another blog entry) and then unashamedly get that word out through each of us who are members of this faith community. That doesn't happen unless the members are excited about the community that they are part of and know where it is going, why it is going, and how it's getting there. This church I visited had that down pat.

So, I learned some good things in going to this church. I ask the members of Calvin. Are you excited about your faith community? Do you know what it's about? Do you know why we are doing what we are doing? Do you see God at work in the life of this community of faith….and in your life? Maybe as the leadership we need to do a better job of articulating these things to you. Maybe you need to come to us and begin to talk about these things so that together we can invest in the lives of people and share with them the radical message from a radical prophet in radical ways.

I hope you are not satisfied with just coming to church on Sunday mornings and hoping your children will be blessed by the ministry programs that go on during the week. I hope we have not become, as Kent Hughes wrote: "[a church] infected with a malaise of conditional loyalty which has produced an army of ecclesiastical hitchhikers. [Church attendees who say] you go to the meetings and serve on the boards and committees, you grapple with the issues and do the work of the church and pay the bills – an I'll come along for the ride. But if things do not suit me, I'll criticize and complain and probably bail out – my thumb is always out for a better ride." (quoted in Christianity Today, May '92).

If you are like this, you may be drawn to a church like the one I went to. Even to those young adults who are leaving the church in droves my question is "How long will you stay?" We've seen people come and go from Calvin over the years who are the "church shoppers." I've seen young people and young adults leave the church for many reasons, some painful and the fault of the church, others not. I'm a firm believer that Calvin CRC is a great fellowship to be part of. It certainly isn't perfect. We've made our mistakes and will continue to do so, and quite honestly, this community of faith isn't a good fit for everyone. However, the call of all of us who call ourselves apprentices of Jesus is to be counter cultural, plant some spiritual roots and stick around for the ride. The saying goes, "you can pick your friends, but you are stuck with your relatives." In Calvin, we are a family that continues to ebb and flow. We are a family that has its disagreements, but we are also a family that seeks to serve God. There are many things we can praise God for in this fellowship, and things we need to ask God's forgiveness for. My hope is that we continue the process of figuring out just who we are, run with that and unashamedly shout it from the rooftops.